Daily Archives: 4 July, 2006

Finland is soggy


the final of many that ended my day   invaro, finland

i like water. i like to drink it. i like to bathe in it. i even like to flush my colon with a warm floral infusion of… um… well… i’m not predisposed to hating the stuff is what i’m getting at… but yesterday was one big waterlogged, oversaturated swim… all day long the road veered toward every black cloud the sky would put up… i didn’t suspect collusion until team lightning entered the picture. everything i own is now drying out in a hotel room the morning after, as i sip coffee in a pub, and everyone else is sipping beer… it’s 9am… finland is shaping up to be one badass country.

lapplandÕs indigenous…


an albino rainier obstacle   invaro, finland

on the way out of norway, i stopped at a roadside souvenir stand of sami (the indigenous people of scandanavia) craftwork… most being crafted out of reindeer pieces… pelts, boots, scrotal purses… the usual dead animal bounty. chatted with the lovely sami woman at the stand for almost an hour. she’s a reindeer sami and politically active in sami rights. her people have lived in the region, raising and relying on reindeer for more than 10,000 years… and now have to attend mandatory compassionate slaughter classes due to the offended sensibilites of urban dwelling animal rights activists who, with no real culture of their own, have the luxury of morally infringing on the sami way of life. the woman i was talking with shrugged it off, not so much upset by audacity of it, that’s typical, but by the fact that she had to pay for this two day course out of her own pocket.
i was invited to stay a while in their lávvu (a teepee) for coffee… could have stayed all day… it was warm and friendly and the conversation was riveting (not from my contribution)… but after an hour, for some reason i felt compelled to move on, even though it was raining… even though she offered to let me stay the night… even though i found her very compelling…
i am retarded. there is simply no other explanation (except the ones involving social ineptitude, which really, are covered by the retard thing). i don’t believe in signs, but the albino reindeer that almost forced me off the road, the neverending deluge that followed me the entire day, and the voice in my head repeating the mantra “turn back, turn back, turn back” are difficult to ignore. yet i did. because… i am retarded.